Iambic Ixplosion

“Advice to Men”

by Ryan Ritchie

 

if you don’t own

a Cadillac, a convertible or a Cadillac convertible,

don’t rent one for your wedding.

say no to the borrowed

pinstriped suit, the fedora and

the cane.

pass on the destination wedding locale

overlooking some beach community

you’ll never be able to afford.

and don’t assume that a raging bachelor party

in Vegas will make your friends think

you’re “money”

(as the douchebags say)

because the single men are pretty sure

you’re a fool

and the married men

know it.

 

instead,

save your money and your pride

because no matter how hard you try,

you still look like a pussy.

 

 

“The Woman With Tempting Eyes”

by Michael Shorb

 

Saudi authorities

on the lookout

for the woman

with tempting eyes,

most figure its one

trouble-making temptress

slipping out at night

to use her seductive globes

to distract good men

with wanton dreams,

sex in a feather bed

sinking further into perdition

with every errant thrust,

a minority of desperate

manhoods claim many

women are involved,

some driving fast cars

through their own

private deserts and

listening to violent

negro music on the radio,

a few of them going so far

as to smoke cigars.

 

 

“I Respect the Gent”

by G. David Schwartz

Make sure you tie your shoe
I did respect that gent
And all the places he said he went
And I did meet his son one day
And to mer he did say
That dear old sir
Was a card in lying
But he was a good talker so I
Refused to believe that he did lie
he was simply good with tales
Which sounded like Mark Twain and so
I remember him
as a good old joe

 

 

“The Sunset”

by Ryan Ritchie

 

a young man in his early 20s sits on a bench overlooking the sun-setting ocean.

the girl on his lap — approximately the same age — faces toward the not-so-busy

street and wears not a smile and not a frown. it’s a

 

look of indifference, one that suggests she’s letting this guy

run his hands across her arms and kiss her cheeks (but not her lips)

not because she wants the attention, but because it’s not such a hassle just to let him

 

cop a cheap feel. parked at the red light, I stare through my sunglasses

for about a minute and wonder why this guy can’t

read the neon signs so obviously being sent his way. then I remember.

 

guys are creeps.

 

 

“A Mitsubishi”

by G David Schwartz

A Mitsubishi is something to see
In cold steel black or dartmouth green
It may look to be cold
But it is red hot mean
A Mitsubishi is something to see
And I will tell you if you ask me
Seen from near or far
the Mitsubishi is a car

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