“In The End, It’s for The Greater Good”
by Brad Preslar
Carrie, is that you? I’m in the bedroom. Can you come on back here? Oh, honey. I’m so glad you’re home. Come over here and sit on the bed next to me. There we go. Now, I know you’ve had a long day and you think you heard the end of this last night. I understand. I do. But it means too much to just drop it. So, we’re going to talk about it, even if you think it’s a pain in the ass.
This is about more than what you want. It’s about more than what I want. It’s about civil rights. Honestly.
Do you think Rosa Parks wanted to go to jail when she kept her seat on that bus? Hell no, she didn’t. What about the great Dr. MLK? Do you think he wanted his house bombed when he led the Montgomery bus boycotts? And I bet Ghandi would have killed for a sandwich. But, they all sacrificed for the greater good.
Those tight-ass, conservative politicians want to reinstate Virginia’s anti-sodomy laws, and I can’t stand by and let that happen. Not today. Not ever. The government has no business dictating what goes on in our bedroom, and no business dictating what goes in your butt.
Do you want the government deciding what goes in your butt? Do you? Oh come on honey, sit back down. No? Well at least hear me out from over there.
You see, this is how it starts; first they make sodomy a “crime against nature.” Care to guess what law the Nazis made first? They said Jews couldn’t have sex with Germans. It’s a slippery slope, babe. First they came for the sodomists, and I did not speak out, because I was not a sodomist. Well, we’re speaking out. We’re getting behind the pro-sodomy movement right here, right now.
I’ve got this web cam set up and we’re going to make our voices heard. Where? On this amateur web site. You’re gonna’ love it. It’s an activist hotbed of like-minded sodomizers.
Hold on, just where do you think you’re going? This is how a movement starts, when the voice of a single sodomist joins with the voices of his compatriots in–
Of course you don’t want to. I don’t either. Thomas Paine didn’t want to travel with the continental army, but he did it. For America. “These are the times that try men’s souls,” he said. Well babe, these are the times that try our butts. And speaking of souls, maybe we should look to the one who made the ultimate sacrifice. I don’t want to nail your butt any more than Jesus wanted to get nailed to that cross. But just like our Lord and savior, I put others in front of myself.
Hey. There’s no need to shout. But maybe you should ask yourself who’s really being sacrilegious. I’m talking about making a grand sacrifice for the good of others. All you care about is your own ass.
Yes, Carrie. I know the effort to reinstate that law already failed. And no, I’m not trying to trick you. Well, when you put it like that, I suppose the Supreme Court did rule on it in 2003. But, “Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty,” that’s why we can’t relax. Actually, I can’t relax. You may have to relax if we–
Fine. Leave, then. If you don’t care about civil rights, I’ll go on without you. I’ll sodomize myself if I have to, for the greater good. Maybe someday you’ll have the courage to join my fight. When you do, I’ll be in here, supporting the freedom to sodomize on internet sites around the world. Especially in Asia. They need me.
Oh, and I’ll need your credit card. Freedom isn’t free, you know.