Salute Our Shorts: The News in Brief

“Ripping the Headlines”
by Paul Lander

Time reading is time wasted, Hobo Pancake Nation. You think you can work on upping that Halo score AND stay informed? Hell, no! Well, me neither. That’s why I like to treat the news like I treat people. Make a snap judgment and move the hell on. So, here are some headlines and my first thoughts:

‘Medical marijuana gains traction in the Deep South’

Bringing new meaning to the term “Southern Fried”

 

‘Chinese doctor builds new nose on man’s forehead’

Unfortunately, the guy sneezed and blew his brains out….

 

‘Obama accepts President Hollande’s invite to go to France for 70th anniversary of D-Day’

I guess that proves the Allies won WW II to take attention away from ObamaCare

 

‘Headlight flashing OK, Missouri judge says’

Sadly this only refers to cars.

 

’22 Habits of Unhappy People’

Number 1: Reading long Effing lists

 

‘A Stunning View Of Earth From 99 Million Miles Away’

They could make out the Great Wall and Chris Christie

 

‘West Hollywood has enough water to last the year: Report’

Good news, they can go a decade before running out of Chardonnay

 

‘AOL CEO claims cutting employee’s 401k because of ACA & employee’s sick children’

AOL is short for A-HOLE

 

 

“If 50 Yrs Ago Were 2day: Beatles Songs if They Were Written Now”
by Paul Lander

Let it B
All You Need is Like, Like is All You Need
Yelp! I Need Somebody.
Yes2day
Self Published EBook Writer
Sexty Sadie
InstaKarma Gram, Gonna Get Ya
She Likes Me, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Eleonor Rigby Writing a Eharmony Profile No One Will See
Something in the Way She iMovies

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