Popular Culture

Welcome back, popular Pancake paparazzi!

We’ve got the inside dish on absurdity, and it’s a dish best served online.  No one this side of Schwab’s Drugstore has more undiscovered talent than we do!

Roll out the red carpet for this issue because it’s spilling over like a starlet’s decolletage at the Golden Globes, stuffed with pleasing prose, promotable poetry, and attractive artwork.  “The Sensuality of the StoreMore Console Table” inverts conventional wisdom about sex tips and furniture assembly, “Properly Bracing Yourself, as Well as Your Loved Ones, for Hurricane Impact ” offers helpful advice for coping with severe weather, and “The Fuckable Prometheus” paints a grim picture of family dynamics following the invention of sex robots.”No Comment” follows Managing Editor Kelly Anneken as she searches for the elusive Star Whackers, and “Smack-Talk of the Town” examines the battle for the souls of young-adult fiction readers.

So put down that airport bestseller, silence your iPhone, and tear yourself away from downloading pornography so you can enjoy every moment of this commercial-free presentation of Hobo Pancakes!

With cultural sincerity,

The Hobo Pancakes Team


No Comment

“Whacking With the Stars”

by Kelly Anneken, managing editor


Screams and Grumbles

“An Open Letter to the Marlboro Gold Pack in My Left Front Pocket”

“An Open Letter to Facebook”

by Geoff Watkinson


Salute Our Shorts

“Ripping the Headlines”

by Paul Lander

“Bank Robbery Stuns Sesame Street”

by Colleen Wilson


Annals of the Flesh

“A Fuckable Prometheus”

by Ivan Hernandez

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI is off this month, to prepare for holidays at the Vatican.  The romantic advice column “Ask Papa Ratzi” will return in the next issue.


Department of Human Resources

“Breaking from the Blerd”

by OJ Patterson

“Him, Her, Us”

by Lucille Belucci


Musical Notes 

“If Brian Wilson and Diana Ross Switched Places”

by Michael Fowler


Unwanted Advice

“Dear Daughter”

by Shanyn Wright

“An Essay From the Asylum”

by William Counsellor


The Space-Time Continuum


by Camille Griep


Climate Corral

“Properly Bracing Yourself, as Well as Your Loved Ones, for Hurricane Impact”

by Chris Krueger

“Weather or Not”

by Peter Lingard


Chronicles of Higher Education

“Baby Lambs”

by Emil DeAndreis


By Design

“The Sensuality of the StoreMore Console Table”

by Lily Dodge


Ancient History


by David Breitkopf

“The Shopping Cart Museum”

by Kate LaDew


Enchanted Affairs

“The Executioner’s Son”

by Kris Baranovic



“Negative Side Effects May Include”

by Michael Chaney


The Scrotal Sector

“Why I’m Choosing Heterosexuality”

by Michael Fowler


Department of Bad Trips

“Why Do You Hit Me When I’m Exercising Next to the Road?”

by Paul Handley


No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!

“Psycho Wars”

by Tim Chorney

“My Attachment to Staples”

by Tim Bass


Iambic Ixplosion

“Quite Literally”

by Kristi Woodard

“The Late Unpleasantness Between the Generations”

by Arthur Heifetz

“I Love My Job”

by Audra Ralls


Smack Talk of the Town

“Reclaiming the Beautiful Swan”

by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large


Photographic Evidence

“Where To Find Marilyn Monroe At Your Local Mall”

by Andrea Laurion