Issue 12: POPULAR CULTURE

Popular Culture

Welcome back, popular Pancake paparazzi!

We’ve got the inside dish on absurdity, and it’s a dish best served online.  No one this side of Schwab’s Drugstore has more undiscovered talent than we do!

Roll out the red carpet for this issue because it’s spilling over like a starlet’s decolletage at the Golden Globes, stuffed with pleasing prose, promotable poetry, and attractive artwork.  “The Sensuality of the StoreMore Console Table” inverts conventional wisdom about sex tips and furniture assembly, “Properly Bracing Yourself, as Well as Your Loved Ones, for Hurricane Impact ” offers helpful advice for coping with severe weather, and “The Fuckable Prometheus” paints a grim picture of family dynamics following the invention of sex robots.”No Comment” follows Managing Editor Kelly Anneken as she searches for the elusive Star Whackers, and “Smack-Talk of the Town” examines the battle for the souls of young-adult fiction readers.

So put down that airport bestseller, silence your iPhone, and tear yourself away from downloading pornography so you can enjoy every moment of this commercial-free presentation of Hobo Pancakes!

With cultural sincerity,

The Hobo Pancakes Team

 

No Comment

“Whacking With the Stars”

by Kelly Anneken, managing editor

 

Screams and Grumbles

“An Open Letter to the Marlboro Gold Pack in My Left Front Pocket”

“An Open Letter to Facebook”

by Geoff Watkinson

 

Salute Our Shorts

“Ripping the Headlines”

by Paul Lander

“Bank Robbery Stuns Sesame Street”

by Colleen Wilson

 

Annals of the Flesh

“A Fuckable Prometheus”

by Ivan Hernandez

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI is off this month, to prepare for holidays at the Vatican.  The romantic advice column “Ask Papa Ratzi” will return in the next issue.

 

Department of Human Resources

“Breaking from the Blerd”

by OJ Patterson

“Him, Her, Us”

by Lucille Belucci

 

Musical Notes 

“If Brian Wilson and Diana Ross Switched Places”

by Michael Fowler

 

Unwanted Advice

“Dear Daughter”

by Shanyn Wright

“An Essay From the Asylum”

by William Counsellor

 

The Space-Time Continuum

“Autocorrect”

by Camille Griep

 

Climate Corral

“Properly Bracing Yourself, as Well as Your Loved Ones, for Hurricane Impact”

by Chris Krueger

“Weather or Not”

by Peter Lingard

 

Chronicles of Higher Education

“Baby Lambs”

by Emil DeAndreis

 

By Design

“The Sensuality of the StoreMore Console Table”

by Lily Dodge

 

Ancient History

“Elderquake”

by David Breitkopf

“The Shopping Cart Museum”

by Kate LaDew

 

Enchanted Affairs

“The Executioner’s Son”

by Kris Baranovic

 

Animalania

“Negative Side Effects May Include”

by Michael Chaney

 

The Scrotal Sector

“Why I’m Choosing Heterosexuality”

by Michael Fowler

 

Department of Bad Trips

“Why Do You Hit Me When I’m Exercising Next to the Road?”

by Paul Handley

 

No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!

“Psycho Wars”

by Tim Chorney

“My Attachment to Staples”

by Tim Bass

 

Iambic Ixplosion

“Quite Literally”

by Kristi Woodard

“The Late Unpleasantness Between the Generations”

by Arthur Heifetz

“I Love My Job”

by Audra Ralls

 

Smack Talk of the Town

“Reclaiming the Beautiful Swan”

by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large

 

Photographic Evidence

“Where To Find Marilyn Monroe At Your Local Mall”

by Andrea Laurion