Issue 14: FOOD



Issue 14: FOOD

Image by Miles Cole --


Welcome back, hungry, hungry Hobos!

We’re changing things up like the daily menu at a trendy bistro in a gentrifying neighborhood!

Following the retirement of the very wise Pope Benedict XIV, we are happy to introduce “Past Help,” an advice column penned by a rotating cadre of history’s finest decision-makers.  For our “Food” issue, please join us in welcoming renowned gastronome and father of modern table manners, Louis XIV, aka “The Sun King.” We hope our readers will enjoy his counsel and afford him the respect due to someone who is the fourteenth of anything.

Otherwise, get ready for all the potent prose and parboiled poetry your practiced palate can handle! “Maholo” examines the difficulty inherent in explaining one’s unusual belief system to a potential brother-in-law, “Food Repulsions: Breaking the Cycle of Shame” sheds light on the root cause of one’s aversion to certain edibles, and “Easter Pyrotechnics” paints a picture of parents doing the best they can, slice-of-life style.  We’ve got a veritable banquet of poetry for your perusal, plus editor-at-large Isa Hopkins exposes the frightening truth about ketchup-induced hallucinations in “Smack-Talk of the Town.”

So tie on a lobster bib, sharpen your fondue forks, dab some mayonnaise behind your ears, and enjoy the mmm-mmm goodness that is Hobo Pancakes!

With foodly sincerity,

The Hobo Pancakes Team


Screams & Grumbles

“Possible Titles for Next ‘Before Sunrise’ Sequel”

by Michael Wolman


Past Help

by King Louis XIV, guest columnist


Salute Our Shorts: The News in Brief

“Ripping the Headlines”

by Paul Lander

“Michele Obama Cited by CBO for Contributing to Unemployment Rate”

by Ziggy Yoediono


Annals of the Flesh

“In the End, It’s for the Greater Good”

by Brad Preslar


Department of Human Resources

“Food Repulsions: Breaking the Cycle of Shame”

by Karen Costa

“It’s All About Presentation”

by Joel Metlen


Chronicles of Higher Education

“Sherman Zahd”

by Jon Sindell


Unwanted Advice

“Taking Risks”

by Kristina England


The Palate Cleanser

“Dear High Fructose Corn Syrup”

by Meg Thompson




“Sounds Like A Good Idea To Me”

by Mike Jackson


Ancient History

“Darwin Does Dining”

by Evan Peacock


Department of Bad Trips

“The Best Beer I Ever Had”

by Joel Burcat

“From the Outside In”

by Miranda Forman


No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!

“Easter Pyrotechnics”

by Matthew Reed


by Daniel Gonzalez


Iambic Ixplosion

“The Fatal Diet of Danny D. Wyatt”

by Paul Goldberg

“A Little Bird”

by Tim Tobin

“Red Hot Love”

by Abigail Dimaano

“Sky Hunter”

by Alek Javier

“The Setting of the M-Shaped Sun”

by Jeannie Tsao

“Ain’t No Simian”

by Nick Bosworth


Smack-Talk of the Town

“Riding the Heinz”

by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large