NATIONAL SECURITY

Welcome back, prudent Pancake allegiance-pledgers!This patriotic issue has been inspected by the TSA and all banned or forbidden items have been removed for your protection.

Our latest long-awaited installment boasts our most jingoistic journalism to date, dedicated to keeping you safe and sound as you decipher flag-waving fiction, promising poetry and assured artwork. “Looking Through You” details the lives of the heroes who make it safe to fly the unfriendly skies. “Charles Bukowski’s Double Date with Adolph Hitler” hearkens back to a little-known corner of world history. “No Comment” explains Hobo Pancakes’ recent disappearance from the interwebs while “Smack Talk of the Town” goes undercover at a right wing think tank — in San Francisco. All this, plus enough fart poems to stink up the Pentagon and more!


Please stand up, remove your hats, shoes, jackets, belts and any items that may be in your pockets, put your hands over your hearts and whatever you do, don’t tread on us!


With nationally secure sincerity,


The Hobo Pancakes Team


No Comment

“Secure My Ass”

by Kelly Anneken, managing editor


Salute Our Shorts: The News In Brief

“Obesity Linked to Marijuana Use!”

by Paul Lander


Screams & Grumbles

“The Rejection Pile”

by Shaylen Maxwell

“Christian Bell, Star of Police Blotter”

by Christian Bell


Annals of the Flesh

“You’re Still Okay, You’re Only a Classy Ho”

by Shanyn Wright


The John Pavon Zone

“Hobo Bird Man’s National Security”

by John Pavon


Judgment Day

“Emotional Equality, Chicago Style”

by Omar Azam


Chronicles of Higher Education

“Because We Love Our Children”

by Justin Evans


No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!


by Michael Saul



“The Old Suburban Guerrilla Discusses The Techniques of Bear Hunting”

by William Watkins


Articles of Faith

“The Devil You Know & The Devil You Don’t”

by Dan Rozier

“The Public Access Episode”

by Rob Robison


Department of Human Resources

“Looking Through You”

by Tim Chorney

“Pitch In: Get Your Hands Dirty!”

by Nora Costello


Are You Serious?

“The Lampoon”

by Adam Johnson


Ancient History

“Charles Bukowski’s Double Date With Adolph Hitler”

by Adam Graupe


Iambic Ixplosion

“A Valediction: For Kennedy Fried Chicken & the Department of Homeland Security”

by Dante Di Stefano

“Rookie Director”

by Steve Bogdaniec

“After Whitesnake”

by Abbas Abidi


by Blair LaVake


by Chuck Logan


Smack-Talk of the Town

“How (Not) To Get A Job At A Conservative Think-Tank”

by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large


Photographic Evidence

“Hot Men & Breakfast Foods: Julian Assange With Toaster Strudel”