Issue 6: NATIONAL SECURITY

                  NATIONAL SECURITY

Welcome back, prudent Pancake allegiance-pledgers!This patriotic issue has been inspected by the TSA and all banned or forbidden items have been removed for your protection.

Our latest long-awaited installment boasts our most jingoistic journalism to date, dedicated to keeping you safe and sound as you decipher flag-waving fiction, promising poetry and assured artwork. “Looking Through You” details the lives of the heroes who make it safe to fly the unfriendly skies. “Charles Bukowski’s Double Date with Adolph Hitler” hearkens back to a little-known corner of world history. “No Comment” explains Hobo Pancakes’ recent disappearance from the interwebs while “Smack Talk of the Town” goes undercover at a right wing think tank — in San Francisco. All this, plus enough fart poems to stink up the Pentagon and more!

 

Please stand up, remove your hats, shoes, jackets, belts and any items that may be in your pockets, put your hands over your hearts and whatever you do, don’t tread on us!

 

With nationally secure sincerity,

 

The Hobo Pancakes Team

 

No Comment

“Secure My Ass”

by Kelly Anneken, managing editor

 

Salute Our Shorts: The News In Brief

“Obesity Linked to Marijuana Use!”

by Paul Lander

 

Screams & Grumbles

“The Rejection Pile”

by Shaylen Maxwell

“Christian Bell, Star of Police Blotter”

by Christian Bell

 

Annals of the Flesh

“You’re Still Okay, You’re Only a Classy Ho”

by Shanyn Wright

 

The John Pavon Zone

“Hobo Bird Man’s National Security”

by John Pavon

 

Judgment Day

“Emotional Equality, Chicago Style”

by Omar Azam

 

Chronicles of Higher Education

“Because We Love Our Children”

by Justin Evans

 

No, YOU’RE Fucked Up!

“Hideout”

by Michael Saul

 

Animalania

“The Old Suburban Guerrilla Discusses The Techniques of Bear Hunting”

by William Watkins

 

Articles of Faith

“The Devil You Know & The Devil You Don’t”

by Dan Rozier

“The Public Access Episode”

by Rob Robison

 

Department of Human Resources

“Looking Through You”

by Tim Chorney

“Pitch In: Get Your Hands Dirty!”

by Nora Costello

 

Are You Serious?

“The Lampoon”

by Adam Johnson

 

Ancient History

“Charles Bukowski’s Double Date With Adolph Hitler”

by Adam Graupe

 

Iambic Ixplosion

“A Valediction: For Kennedy Fried Chicken & the Department of Homeland Security”

by Dante Di Stefano

“Rookie Director”

by Steve Bogdaniec

“After Whitesnake”

by Abbas Abidi

“Beer”

by Blair LaVake

“Surprise”

by Chuck Logan

 

Smack-Talk of the Town

“How (Not) To Get A Job At A Conservative Think-Tank”

by Isa Hopkins, editor-at-large

 

Photographic Evidence

“Hot Men & Breakfast Foods: Julian Assange With Toaster Strudel”